Finally got around to being annoyed enough that the 4wd engaged light on the IP wasn't working that I actually diagnosed it today.
Started with depinning the two pins to the ecu to indicate 4wd mode, and 4lo mode, then powered up the truck and shifted between modes (and then realized I can't shift it into N or 4Lo anymore). 4lo pin couldn't be tested, but 4wd pin didn't get power.
Inserted a stub wire into the ecu connector, applied power to it, and 4wd light goes on, so ecu forward is working fine.
Took off the plug from the front diff actuator, looked at the wire going to the ecu more closely, and it looked pretty banged up, but the rest of the wires are working as the spare actuator I have moves in/out fine (and 4wd mode worked fine driving around).
Cut off the end of the wire, stripped it, applied power and IP also light up, so it was either both actuators failed in the same way, or the wire was busted.
Went over to the parts truck and was going to just grab the end of that one wire so it was the right color, but remembered the harness is short and separate from everything else, just goes from the front diff to near the fuse box, so pulled the whole harness. Tested it by plugging it into the truck and spare actuator, and it worked, both the actuator moved and the 4wd light goes on/off, so it is the harness.
Re-taped the new harness to protect the end of it a bit better, and replace the tape that was coming apart, installed it, and it's good to go.
Having a spare truck for parts works great...
The parts truck came an electric shift transfer case, so I'm not going to rebuild that to throw it into this truck, but I might do a double swap in the summer, first test that the transfer case is in 2wd mode (or shift it into that mode), swap it in, then rebuild the manual transfer case, and swap it back. But I should probably first crawl under the truck and see if anything is jamming the shifting mechanism on the outside of the TC.